Why I love and hate Halloween

Today is Halloween and I have no plans. My wife and I own a house in a cul de sac that is both incredibly dark and very much off the beaten path. As such, we don't get any trick-or-treaters. What's more, we don't know many people still in St. Louis and so we don't go to Halloween parties and we don't go out to the bars, etc. As such, we don't really get anything out of Halloween.

In some respects this is a good thing because I don't personally love Halloween. Growing up, I never had a cool costume. In fact, from roughly first through eighth grade, I was told to go grab old clothes out of the attic and go to school dressed as a hobo. So while other kids had cool He-Man costumes or Superman or whatever, I was a kid wearing old clothes that were too big for me. I actually still remember going to school as a hobo one year only to have the pin holding my pants up pop. I had to spend the rest of the day holding up these huge size 32 pants on my size 10 frame. This was about 3rd grade I think. So Halloween has never been good for me and I am fine with that.

At the same time, though, Halloween has progressed into quite an interesting holiday for men with regard to women. It seems that the best way to make "old" costumes new again is to put the word "naughty" in front of everything, use less clothing material, and add in thigh high stockings. So now instead of being "Dorothy" from the Wizard of Oz, you get the "Naughty Dorothy" with a half-inch skirt, white stockings, and a white shirt with 2 buttons. Instead of a witch you get a naughty witch, etc.

Now, before I get accused of being a pig, let me say if you are a woman and are offended by this, then I am on your side. It does seem offensive, especially in the 21st Century. At the same time, though....DAMN! It's like every 15-year-old fantasy I have ever had is suddenly on parade. I mean, at what other time could you go to a bar and see a catholic school girl, naughty nurse, red-hot cop, etc. all in one room ON PURPOSE??? If only someone would be smart enough to invent the "naughty Princess Lea" costume from Star Wars!

So Halloween is still not great, but it's gaining ground. Candy for the stomach was already a pretty strong case. But now eye candy as well! Definitely it's gaining ground.