Wherefore Art Thou, Wedding Ring?

As the title implies, I have lost my wedding ring. My wife and I have spent the last 2 days tearing apart the house in search of it, but so far no luck. It's incredibly upsetting to me on two fronts. First, and most obvious, is the fact that I have lost my wedding ring. Setting aside its importance as a symbol of my lifelong commitment to my spouse, the ring itself is also a cherished possession and an item filled with positive memories. I remember flipping through wedding magazines with Erika looking at rings. I remember debating platinum or gold or white gold. I remember how heavy it felt when I first put it on, and how, like most guys I think, I used to go around tapping it on things and fidgeting with it until I got used to wearing it.

So losing it for those reasons is upsetting. What's worse, though, is that it reminds me of the fact that I have serious, serious, issues when it comes to forgetfulness. I'm like Dory from Finding Nemo. I suffer from Short-Term Memory Loss, forgetting things almost instantly. I think. Hmmmm..

Seriously though, as far back as I can remember I have had issues with forgetfulness. Just stupid things like holding something in my hands, putting it down, and then not being able to remember where I put it. Or thinking "I really need to do such and such," and then I spend 5 seconds doing something else and then can't remember the such and such I was going to do. It's not memory related, I don't think, because I can remember a lot of things, including the lyrics to roughly 46.5% of the songs ever sung. I remember Max Mauren's telephone number from when I was a kid living on 27th street and Max's house was right behind mine. I remember our old telephone number at that house, even though I haven't lived there in 20 years and that number no longer belongs to my parents.

And yet yesterday I pulled into my driveway, parked in the garage, got out of my car and started walking inside. Then I chuckled at myself because I realized I had forgotten my car keys. So I opened the car door, reached inside, and then chuckled again because I also forgot to turn the car off. No joke. It's like I get distracted or something. Actually, it's more like there are certain actions I take on a daily basis that require no thought whatsoever, and because they require no thought they simply don't register with me on any level and then I can't remember what I was doing or thinking, etc.

Case in point: my wedding ring. I literally have no memory at all of taking it off. None. And yet obviously I did because it's not on my finger. And so all I can do is try to think about why or where I might have taken it off and what I might have done with it. I usually take off my ring at home when I wash my hands. Monday night I also hand-washed some kitchen knives and it's likely I would have taken my ring off for that activity.
When I do take off my ring, most times I just stick it on the counter. Sometimes, though, I will put it in my pocket.

After a thorough search, I can verify that the ring is not on any counter. So I check my pajama pants. Not there. Of course, if it was in my pants it could have potentially fallen out. So now we are scouring the floors and under furniture and checking all the places I sat. Nothing. Did it fall down a drain? Who knows?

Like I said, it is frustrating because I have no memory at all of taking it off. Because of that, everything is possible. At work, sometimes I take off my ring when I wash my hands after using the latrine. So did I lose it at work? Maybe. Did I lose it at home? Maybe.

Did I lose it? Yes, that's for sure.