Wherefore Art Thou, Wedding Ring?

As the title implies, I have lost my wedding ring. My wife and I have spent the last 2 days tearing apart the house in search of it, but so far no luck. It's incredibly upsetting to me on two fronts. First, and most obvious, is the fact that I have lost my wedding ring. Setting aside its importance as a symbol of my lifelong commitment to my spouse, the ring itself is also a cherished possession and an item filled with positive memories. I remember flipping through wedding magazines with Erika looking at rings. I remember debating platinum or gold or white gold. I remember how heavy it felt when I first put it on, and how, like most guys I think, I used to go around tapping it on things and fidgeting with it until I got used to wearing it.

So losing it for those reasons is upsetting. What's worse, though, is that it reminds me of the fact that I have serious, serious, issues when it comes to forgetfulness. I'm like Dory from Finding Nemo. I suffer from Short-Term Memory Loss, forgetting things almost instantly. I think. Hmmmm..

Seriously though, as far back as I can remember I have had issues with forgetfulness. Just stupid things like holding something in my hands, putting it down, and then not being able to remember where I put it. Or thinking "I really need to do such and such," and then I spend 5 seconds doing something else and then can't remember the such and such I was going to do. It's not memory related, I don't think, because I can remember a lot of things, including the lyrics to roughly 46.5% of the songs ever sung. I remember Max Mauren's telephone number from when I was a kid living on 27th street and Max's house was right behind mine. I remember our old telephone number at that house, even though I haven't lived there in 20 years and that number no longer belongs to my parents.

And yet yesterday I pulled into my driveway, parked in the garage, got out of my car and started walking inside. Then I chuckled at myself because I realized I had forgotten my car keys. So I opened the car door, reached inside, and then chuckled again because I also forgot to turn the car off. No joke. It's like I get distracted or something. Actually, it's more like there are certain actions I take on a daily basis that require no thought whatsoever, and because they require no thought they simply don't register with me on any level and then I can't remember what I was doing or thinking, etc.

Case in point: my wedding ring. I literally have no memory at all of taking it off. None. And yet obviously I did because it's not on my finger. And so all I can do is try to think about why or where I might have taken it off and what I might have done with it. I usually take off my ring at home when I wash my hands. Monday night I also hand-washed some kitchen knives and it's likely I would have taken my ring off for that activity.
When I do take off my ring, most times I just stick it on the counter. Sometimes, though, I will put it in my pocket.

After a thorough search, I can verify that the ring is not on any counter. So I check my pajama pants. Not there. Of course, if it was in my pants it could have potentially fallen out. So now we are scouring the floors and under furniture and checking all the places I sat. Nothing. Did it fall down a drain? Who knows?

Like I said, it is frustrating because I have no memory at all of taking it off. Because of that, everything is possible. At work, sometimes I take off my ring when I wash my hands after using the latrine. So did I lose it at work? Maybe. Did I lose it at home? Maybe.

Did I lose it? Yes, that's for sure.

Turning a corner

For the past several weeks, maybe even months, I have been overwhelmed by feelings of negativity. I feel like life has really been a battle this year, and that battle has managed, over time, to bring me down a bit. My dad passed away in February so that sucked. Then my son was born, and even though this was a joyous event, and even though I love the little guy to death, life with a newborn is just a challenge. Lots of sleepless nights and crying and acid reflux, combined with a 2-year old and typical toddler behavior, combined with work stress and swine flu and economic collapse and blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the point is I have been in a funk.

This week, though, I feel like I am turning a corner. Samuel has been sleeping through the night and that has been such a tremendous blessing. At the same time, Emelia has gotten through potty training and that is a milestone. At the same time we have a vacation coming up after last year's trip got blown out by Hurricane Ike (I think God knew I would need a vacation more this year than last. I think He's right...but then again, isn't He always?). And so all these factors are coming together is a way that makes me feel like perhaps the roughest stretch is behind me, and maybe...MAYBE...there are sunnier skies ahead.

And you know what? It's good to just feel good again. I realized after chatting a bit with my wife that happiness is as much about choice as it is about circumstances. For the most part, I have chosen to focus on the positive and ignore the negative throughout my adult life. After all, life is always filled with trials. For some reason, though, I have been doing the opposite lately. I think it's because the negative has been so "overwhelming" lately. It's been difficult not to notice it. Or perhaps the older you get the more the negative starts to pile up in your rearview mirror. I don't know.

What I do know is that, if I can, and if God will help, I am going to choose to be happy as best I can moving forward. I feel good just for thinking this way - especially with the new year approaching. 

Mission accomplished

Erika called today with thrilling news (thrilling is even more exciting than exciting...inside joke). Emelia went poo-poo and pee-pee in the potty all by herself! By "all by herself," I mean that she went into the bathroom all by herself without telling anyone, got her pants down, and did the deed. So after a somewhat rocky road, I am ready to declare Emelia potty-trained.

For the parents, this is great news because we have our Beaches vacation coming up and Emelia needed to be potty-trained to participate in the day care activities. So from a deadline perspective this is a major relief (pun intended). Aside from that, though, it's also a significant milestone in her life and ours, and one that sort of jumped up and hit me on the head today. My little girl is growing up.

Ever since Samuel's birth, I sort of feel like Emelia got pushed to the back burner. Not because I love her less, or think differently of her, but simply because a newborn is a LOT of work (A LOT, LOT, LOT OF WORK!!!), and that work has taken away from the "work" of raising a todler. Even though I have worked hard at being the same "daddy" to Emelia, I know in my heart that I have been tired and cranky and distracted and not giving her the attention that she deserves.

Our potty-training efforts, though, have sort of brought her back into the forefront, and I am struck today by the fact the she is almost 3 and that she is getting to be such a big girl. It's funny because with newborns, so much happens from 0-12 months. First they sleep and eat and potty; then they sleep less and cry more; then they smile and roll over and warm your heart; next thing they are crawling and eating solids and sleeping through the night; next minute they are babbling and laughing and standing up, etc. Now that Emelia is 2, though, the changes associated with her growing up are not as dramatic. It's perhaps easier to take the days for granted.

Like I said, though, the potty-training does give me pause today. Reminds me how much I love her. Hopefully she won't grow up too quick!